Awful Family
by vampirelover29
Summary: This story is about the Black family in Regulus pov. This shows his struggles growing up and what made him decided to become the famous RAB. If I get requests I will make a multichapter way more detailed version of this.


** Awful Family**

**I had a bad day with my family today that has been going on for awhile and Regulus is one of my favorite characters I thought he probably felt this way to and I feel he doesn't have enough love on here. This story is for me to vent so please don't flame if you don't agree with how I portray the characters normally I plan stories a week at a time everyone shots so I put this up on whim. I don't own Harry Potter.**

I hate my family. Sure I love them very much and appreciate them but I can not help but resent them. I know they love me each in their own way but I feel like no one cares and only Kreacher understands me and even then I have my doubts.

Sirius was always my best friend for as long as I could remember. When he and mom got in their fights I would always go to him and let him vent, yell, and throw things at me. My whole young life revolved around Sirius because even if he was sometimes an air head, to me he was a hero. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up and he used to say we would be best friends forever. He always tried to be a great big brother until he went to Hogwarts. He wrote me all the time even if mum didn't want him to because he was Gryffindor not that I cared. Then he started to become more nasty saying I cared about mum more than him and he wished James Potter was his brother instead. I then decided when in my bed listening to the nightly arguments that I would be a Slytherin and do what ever it takes to make my parents happy. After I got in school he ignored me and that is when we really stopped being siblings even if it did break my heart when he runaway to the Potters. Nowadays if he does talk to be at a social event all he talks about is himself and James Potter. I know that I will always grieve for the brother I used to have.

Mum was a totally different story. I was her favorite their was no question about but that it not mean much to me. When I was young she would always compare Sirius and me but I did not mind because I was the good one. I could understand were my brother came from when he talked about her being a monster to me she I always remember her reading us to sleep and tucking us in at night. After my brother runaway father would always blame mum and say it was all her fault and she would do every thing to make him happy. I know it was partly mums fault but it had to do with us to and in my opinion him to because he was so rebellious because if they family wanted him to be a Gryffindor he would have been a Slytherin. Mother did every thing to make the three of us a family and act like Sirius did not exist, but mum and dad would argue all the time and I would feel left out. Before Mum was always on my side her "little Reggie" could do nothing wrong but now it was always my fault and father was always right. I felt she wanted me gone now except when she and dad got into a fight again then I would become her pride and joy and even if I felt bad for it I could not wait for those times to happen.. I would still try to be a better son than Sirius and make her happy.

Dad and I had a different relationship that was totally different than than the others. While I was felt Sirius was his favorite I still knew he cared about me. When mum and Siri were fighting if dad was home and did not jump to my brothers defense then he would hang out with me and we would roll our eyes about it and dad would joke about the two of us running away from the other two. He would always bring me stuff home and would spend as much time with us as he could. When my brother ran away he changed he still cared about me and hung out with me but it was not the same. He and mum began to argue about Sirius and I could not help but think about how he still ruined my life even when I was gone. Dad would try to buy me every thing to try and prove he cared and in Hogwarts letter said he wanted to here all about it but I guess it did not have as much meaning to me. I felt his anger more and more it came to a point when I would try and not go home.

Kreacher had become my rock. He cuddled me until I fell asleep when their was arguing and told me how I would make a great man one day. Siri and him never got along but Kreatcher I came to cherish more than my parents. I always knew that know matter what he would loyally follow me with out asking questions. He always calmed me down and was the only thing to ever gain my complete trust and made me feel important. In return for my coplete trust or him he treated me like a god and cared about me most out of everyone maybe even my mother. Kreatcher and I created a bound during all the fighting that can never be broken.

My extended tried to comfort mean about my brother stating he was a traitor and I was now the heir but I did not care because I still missed my brother. I guess Narcissa knew what I was feeling because she was upset like I was when Andromeda left but was trying to get her own life in control and spent all her time with Lucius not that I minded. Bellatrix started to teach me about the dark lord and said we were the same for having trader siblings. That made me feel special and made me want to become a deatheater even more to please her for making me feel important. More than anything I just wanted to be alone my family was gone so it was better than to try and pick up the remains even though I knew it was not possible.

During the time all these problems occurred my best friend Severus Snape was their. He lost his friend Lily who he was in love with at the time Sirius left and his parents fought too. He also did not like James Potter like I did not because I blame him for corrupting Sirius and I came to hate Sirius like Severus eventually to. After the shrieking shack incident I came to hate Sirius even more for trying to kill my only friend even if I had know idea what exactly went down there. I always hated Lily because to me she did not value his friend ship like I did and I always felt like she would hurt Sev for her popularity which she did. We both came deeply enhanced in the dark arts which neither of us enjoyed but we did it any way because we liked the looks the marauders gave us and it helped us feel like we are getting back at them. Mum and dad looked so proud of me as did the rest of the family because I was spreading pureblood power according to them.

Now here I am years later and a deatheater. I hate being one and seeing innocent people die. I look back now and see what I left behind and what I did just to fit in with my family. I keep thinking maybe it is me who changed and my family had always stayed the same. I know I will die soon weather it is because I die doing a quest for Voldemort or I finally get brave enough to let him kill me for abandoning me I know I will soon die. Their will also be know Black heir no more because Sirius was disowned and I have made the promise never to fall in love and have a child go through the same problem I did even if I do want kids. Thinking about this I have made my decision I will not let Voldemort ruin anymore families and have them grow up like that I will stand up and make Sirius proud.


End file.
